What’s up Joe. How are ya? How are the kids? Good? Good. Now let’s talk baseball. I know you played in the big leagues, have been managing the Yankees for 10 years, and won a World Series title in 2009. Pretty impressive resume. So am I in any position to tell you how to do your job? Well I stopped playing baseball after 8th grade, have won countless baseball games on PlayStation 2, and got retweeted by River Ave. Blues last night. Does that mean I could manage this team better than you? Yes, it absolutely does. So I’m gonna help you out, pal. I won’t even ask for any credit, you guys winning games is all the reward I need. Grab a pen and paper, Joey, cause you’re gonna want to take notes.
Stop the Chris Carter Experiment
Think of Chris Carter as a science fair volcano. Except the volcano won’t erupt, but it will strike out in every single at-bat while you pay it 4 million dollars to do so. This guy has been a sad excuse at the bottom of our lineup for far too long. I don’t even care that he hit a home run last night. He is trash trash trash. Greg Bird is still hurt, but Tyler Austin is back at AAA, almost at full health. Austin is no All-Star, but he hit .241 with 5 homers and 12 RBI in 83 at-bats last year, more than respectable for his big-league debut. I genuinely feel bad for Chris Carter being as bad as he is, but then again I don’t. He’s gonna get paid $4 million to do a job just about as poorly as you can do it for a few months, then get released. Hopefully he’ll be gone within the week, and we’ll be able to say RIP in peace to his time in Pinstripes.
Skip Tanaka’s Next Start
This one is trickier than Chris Carter. We’re talking about a guy who has been the ace of this staff for the last three years that’s making $22 million. I get the whole “taking him out of the rotation will kill his confidence” theory, but he’s got no confidence out there as it is. You can see it on his face. Maybe a little time off to regroup and work on his mechanics is just what he needs. Going out and getting shelled every fifth day is no good for the guy’s confidence, just like going 0-4 every day wasn’t helping Bird’s. Either fill his spot in the rotation with Chad Green or Adam Warren, or call up Chance Adams and let’s see if this kid is the real deal.
Bench Chase Headley
I’ll keep this one brief, but I could go on for hours about Chase Headley. Bench him now. Can’t hit from either side of the plate, and is one of the worst defensive third basemen in the league. Ronald Torreyes did a great job filling in for Didi when he was hurt, so let him play third every day until Gleyber Torres is ready to make the jump to the big leagues.
Keep Aaron Hicks in the Lineup Every Day
Honestly, Aaron Judge’s hot start has been the second biggest surprise from Yankees named Aaron this season. Hicks was almost Chase Headley level bad last year. This year? Looks like our center fielder of the future. A switch-hitting outfielder with speed and power, his 8 homers and 31 RBI through 45 games have already matched his 2016 totals in 123 games. His .329 batting average ranks 5th in the AL, and he’s second in on-base percentage (second!) behind Mike Trout. Obviously there’s no choice but to play him every day with Ellsbury out right now, but even when he comes back, you can’t take Hicks out of the lineup besides to rest him every once in awhile. Either try and trade Ellsbury (although you’re gonna have to eat a lot of that contract to do so), or see what kind of return you can get for Gardner. I wanna keep Brett as much as the next guy, but if you can sell high at the deadline and get a player back who will make a major-league impact right now (back of the end rotation guy or a late-inning reliever), I think you have to at least consider it.
You’re doing all right, Joe. I’ve never thought you were the best manager, or even a good one, but I’ll give you credit where it’s due with this team in first place right now. Take my suggestions into consideration, and hopefully we’ll see this team go deep into October. Don’t be a stranger, feel free to hook me up with some tickets sometime and we can chat in person. Good talk, pal.