Clooney Remains Unbeaten at Life

George Clooney’s life is tough. Nothing seems to ever go this guy’s way. Keep your head up all star – you’ll get your big break one day. This expression is thrown around a lot, but this man is simply unreal. Like not real. This man’s life is an endless cycle of straight W’s and I’m not even mad about it. I literally eat this shit up. I’ve never seen a life more flawless. Has donned the honor of Sexiest Man Alive, check. Plays Danny Ocean in Ocean’s trilogy, check. Silver fox hair that makes the models of Just For Men wake up in cold sweats at night, check. Got married later on in life so he could make love to the most beautiful women on earth, check. Married to a smoke from a foreign country that’s a world diplomat, check. His teeth are so perfect they’ve been said to have been the soul reason people go into the dentistry field. BRAD PITT IS HIS SIDE KICK. Must I go on? This man has life on an absolute leash. Just repeatedly making it his bitch day in and day out. But of course, when it rains it pours. Clooney is now selling his tequila company he made as a small hobby for $1 Billion.

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HA HA! Whoops!! God dammit Clooney I can’t even hate you. To answer the question that no one asked me, no, this doesn’t surprise me one bit. For George its just another day at the office. Bravo Clooney, keep doing you, you incredible, incredible specimen of human life.

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