Why I Hate DJ Funkmaster Flex

You know who the worst DJ in New York is? I’ll give you a hint, he looks like an ugly combo of Shaq and Draymond Green-

DJ Funkmaster Fucking Flex.

 

There is no radio host, TV anchor, author, poet, singer, athlete, politician, or convicted felon, that I hate more than DJ Funkmaster Flex.  If you’re unfamiliar with who this man is, first off, you are lucky.  He is the radio host of Hot 97 at night, and has a passion for destroying good music.  If you have ever sat shotgun in my car, you have probably seen me lose my shit when the poor, unknowing passenger clicks preset one, blaring his bullshit out the stereo.  Here is the problem with him — he does not know how to just let a good song live.  Let’s say he puts on Trufflebutter by Drake, great song!  Now all you have to do is let the fucking song play, and let the audience enjoy.  Instead, he tries to remix every second of the song, ruining an otherwise pure song.  Or, he will loop the intro — I love a good intro as much as the next guy, but when it is building up to a beat drop, let the damn beat drop instead of playing the same buildup over and over and over again.  It takes a special talent to actually have people petition for you to step down from your job.

I can imagine Funk Flex as the DJ at his high school…

“Today is April 12th, 1984.  It is a C day.  Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance. 

“I pledge allegiance to the flag… I pledge allegiance to the flag… I pledge allegiance to the flag… *AIRHORNNNNNNNNN* I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERI…. (Last part in rapped like Kanye)

To be clear, my problem is not with Hot 97.  During the morning/ day, I love tuning in.  As soon as Funk Flex takes the mic though… DEATH TO HOT 97

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