OJ Simpson: Back In Civilization Predictions

Unless you live under a rock or don’t know what the Internet is, you 1) know who OJ Simpson is and his past and 2) that yesterday he was granted parole and will become a free man in October of this year. He was placed in jail for a minimum nine year sentence (max 33) for armed robbery for trying to steal back his sports memorabilia.  It’s been a while since OJ Simpson has graced the free world with his presence, and since he was locked up there have been countless documentaries and shows about what happened in 1994 and 1995 regarding the murders and trial. Now that he is free, the biggest questions are…what’s next? I have a few predictions:

WELCOME BACK TOUR

In Lavar Ball fashion…

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OJ is quickly about to become the biggest celebrity on the planet once more.  The “Trial of the Century” is something that will never be forgotten, and people now more than ever want to listen to every damn word out of his mouth.  His parole hearing took over every major news network, so imagine what happens if he goes on a talk show? Sure, most people might say that “No talk show would have him on because it’s too controversial”, but I firmly believe some news station who wants their fifteen minutes is gonna exploit the hell out of this situation and give him the live interview everybody is eagerly awaiting.

YOU….ARE THE FATHER

Welcome to the Simpson family, Khloe Kardashian.  In Maury Povich style, OJ Simpson WILL BE revealed as the biological father to Khloe. The resemblance is legitimately striking…

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Image result for khloe kardashian

Image result for khloe kardashian and oj simpson

It’s just a little too close for me.  She doesn’t look much like her actual father Robert Kardashian (right) and she’s around half a foot taller than her sisters or more (Kim: 5′ 3″, Kourtney: 5′ 0″, Khloe: 5′ 10″).  Interesting discrepancy there. Also, Kris Jenner is a lot of things, but she is not stupid.  OJ was the biggest name in America at the time, and if the scandal ever got out that one of her kids (before the Kardashians were the “Kardashians”) was his, that story WOULD BLOW UP and make them famous overnight. Bottom line, I predict that Khloe will be OJ’s biological daughter by 2019.

ADMITTANCE

“I did it…I killed them”

OJ will admit to the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman at some point. Maybe I’m fooled by his innate charm and his million-dollar smile, but OJ, from the outside, seems like he has some good in him.  And I’m sure being in jail really makes you think about your life, and whatever happened that night in 1994 has been eating at him for a long, long time.  His conscious will get the better of him, or he’ll spend the rest of his life with that weight on his shoulders and wanting to throw rocks at old people.

Image result for admit it scrubs meme

A BLOG?!

In a CNN article, it was stated that OJ would be interested in a webcast or blog career. The only way I can picture that happening is a spin-off show/webcast of “Good Luck, Charlie” called “Good Luck, OJ” where he tries to reconnect with people who definitely hate him.  And whenever he is about to meet someone who hates his guts, the studio audience will collectively shout “GOOD LUCK OJ!!” like when the crowd shouts the actual answers in Family Feud. Could be must-watch TV.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

All of those things above could happen, or everybody could just completely ignore the elephant in the room. People could be too afraid to say anything to OJ, or just simply not know what to say at all.  The boring prediction is that he goes on living the rest of his life, saying nothin’ to nobody, and we are left at the edge of our seats with the greatest cliff hanger in American criminal history.

 

My vote is for the webcast #GoodLuck,OJ

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