Predicting the Next Overplayed “Sorority Girl” Song

Last summer, The Chainsmokers gave us ultra-hit “Closer”, which was a great song until it was the only song played everywhere.  Walking through the quad, what else do you hear but “HEY….I was doing just fine…” or going into a party and hearing twelve sorority girls drunkenly standing on tables screaming “SO BABY PULL ME CLOSER”.  It was everywhere and anywhere, like the black plague in the 1340s (too soon?).

Much like Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself” or “Sorry” in 2016, there are certain songs and certain artists that get belligerently overplayed every single year. It’s a tale as old as time, in my opinion dating back to the 1800s. I mean how many times have you heard Beethoven’s 5th symphony? I’m sure enough for your liking, right??? Sorry, that’s enough 19th century and beyond references for one article.

My point being that every year, for as long as I can remember, there is a song (AKA Song of the Summer) that is really good then gets pushed off a cliff by fans and radio stations playing it every second. So, I am going to predict the artist that will come out with the next big time (rush?) hit of the 2017-2018 school year.  But, first some honorable mentions and a dark horse:

Honorable Mentions

ED SHEERAN

Image result for ed sheeran

If I hear “When I was six years old, I broke my leg” one more time I might break my own leg just to stop listening. I’ve had enough of Ed Sheeran for one summer, which is one reason why I don’t think that he’ll have the song that everybody sings on their night out. Another reason is Ed Sheeran more makes the type of music that people sing alone in their car after a really hard day before they go home and cry a lot. It doesn’t exactly get me hyped to rip shots. So, great 2017 for Ed, but not my pick.

THE CHAINSMOKERS

They’re kind of the Patriots of summer hits.  Just when you think they’re done, another hit comes out.  And you always think to yourself, “Oh this song isn’t that good, I really don’t like it” then little do you know two weeks later you’re driving in your car singing “We were staying in Paris” and you’re like “Shit, I actually like this song”.  How is Tom Brady still good at 40? Who knows. How do the Chainsmokers pretty much make the same song two times a year and you still jam to it? Who knows.

THE WEEKND

There might not be a singer I hate more than this guy, but people, for some reason, love him. His hair sucks and so do his songs, but his music seems to get people doing things with their hips that they definitely should not be doing (see drunk frat star attempting to twerk in nearby dictionary to know what I mean).  Unfortunately, I must stay unbiased and include him on this list.

Image result for spongebob hair gets stuck in door
The Weeknd showing his friends his new hair style

CHANCE THE RAPPER

He was originally my dark horse pick considering the “pop-culture, make music for the radio” is not his style, but I included him here because he has become mainstream recently. When Coloring Book came out last year, Chance was a name that people knew, but not exactly followed. Now, he’s an icon.  Anything he produces, people act like they’re the only people that like him when literally everybody does. He’s a fun guy to watch, and if he makes a new song, which it seems like he did in the link below, it will likely break all kinds of records.

Dark Horse

KELLY CLARKSON

Cue the Flying Dutchman saying “WELCOME BACK”

Image result for flying dutchman welcome back
For the terribly uncultured people

Kelly hasn’t been great in a while, but has more than her fair share of hits (Since U Been Gone is arguably the greatest song ever) and she, supposedly, is releasing an album sometime this year.  She claimed it was the music that has been inside her since middle school, so either we’re gonna get a bunch of puberty and hormone-ridden crap, or we’re gonna get the Since U Been Gone Kelly Clarkson. I pray for the latter, and if that’s the case, she’ll be in contention for Song of the Year.

My Pick

TAYLOR SWIFT

Image result for taylor swift

Almost three years and no album? I think Taylor DEFINITELY has some built-up rage against former boyfriends and Kanye. I predict a mega-hit, and I predict it soon. Whatever it is, girls everywhere will be obsessed, and I cannot wait/greatly dread for the song to be horrifyingly overplayed.

 

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