Clayton Kershaw to Start Rehab Assignment; Minor Leaguers Literally Shit in Pants

Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw, who was having yet another career year before his back injury on July 23, will start to rehab and set in place his return to the bigs. He will be pitching with the Dodgers Triple-A affiliate creatively named the Oklahoma City Dodgers. He plans to return to the rotation barring any setbacks during the start, but the organization is not planning on rushing him back if he doesn’t feel ready, considering they have an 800.5 game lead in the NL West.

While this is good news for Dodgers fans everywhere, this is bad news for whatever unlucky AAA team Kershaw will have to face in that start. Kershaw makes the best MLB hitters seem like Little Leaguers, so I assume he will make AAA hitters look like they are swinging a Wii remote.

I don’t care if Kershaw hasn’t pitched off a mound in 2 months or 8 years, he will make anyone standing in the batter’s box look silly.

Usually in rehab assignments, pitchers just touch up, work on all their pitches, make sure their mechanics clique, and I’m sure Kershaw plans to do the same. Even if he doesn’t have his best stuff, the name alone will be intimidating enough to make it look like he does. I’m excited to see a clip on Twitter or Instagram after the game where a hitter completely loses himself in a Clayton Kershaw curveball. It’s great content, and timeless entertainment.

But if I was a AAA hitter, I’m not too excited about this opportunity.  This is likely their first trip through the minors, and the best talent they’ve ever seen is somebody who is considered a high-class prospect (ie: Alex Reyes of the Cardinals or Michael Kopech of the White Sox).  So when they step up to the plate against Mr. Clayton Kershaw, the best of the best, you can expect a little something to squeak out.

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