It’s been about a month since I wrote one of these, but it’s about time I had to bring to light more people I don’t trust. Here’s a refresher of what I actually mean with these blogs.
Just because you do one or more of these things doesn’t mean I actually don’t trust you as a person. Most of these say nothing about your character. But these are just moves that kind of make me personally scratch my head. You might disagree and that’s okay, but if you have a real problem with it then chill out man I’m not even a real blogger, I’m just a college kid. So here goes. I do NOT trust you if…
-You Don’t Have Venmo
I don’t know how I missed this one in Volume 1. It honestly may be my biggest pet peeve ever when someone doesn’t have Venmo. However, this one does depend on your age. I don’t expect anyone over the age of like 25 to have Venmo. But if you’re in college, how do you function without Venmo? I almost never even have cash on me anymore. Nothing worse than when you’re splitting a pizza or something with your friend and they’re trying to figure out how to pay you the $5.50 they owe you when all they have is a $20. Like dude, join the freaking 21st century and download Venmo like every other college kid in America. Side note: I’ve heard Apple is gonna make it possible to pay people through iMessage, and that will be a sad day. Scrolling through your Venmo feed is low key the best social media out there, don’t @me.
-You pour the milk before the cereal
Who in their right mind would ever do this? If you pour the milk first, you’re putting yourself right in the splash zone when you go to add the cereal. Plus, you have to coat the cereal with the milk so it gets the right amount on each spot. With the milk going in first, half the cereal is gonna be bone dry, and the other half will be soaked. I know the intro said these say nothing about your character, but this one kinda does. If you pour the milk first, theres an 84% chance you are a Nazi sympathizer. (Let it be known Below the Belt Sports is an OPENLY ANTI-NAZI blog. Blessed to be born in the US of A baby.)
-You sing Mr. Brightside at a normal volume
No one’s ever heard “I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine” and gone on to calmly enjoy the song. You’re either screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs or not singing at all, there is no in between.
-Your social media bios have NJ-NY with a plane emoji in between
I don’t know who has ever taken a plane from New Jersey to New York, but I would love to meet them so I can punch them in the face. That’s not even a power move, it’s just not something that people do. It would be like me putting 201 (Plane emoji) New Brunswick in my bio. I think I’d rather put a razor scooter emoji instead of a plane emoji, because I’d Razor scooter down the Parkway before I boarded a plane from New Jersey to NYC.
That’s it for this edition. Check back soon for more people I don’t trust.