2017 Savage of the Year Winner Already Crowned; Debate is Over

The infamous quote from Anchorman, “I’m going to take your mom [Dorothy Mantooth] out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again” has been executed, one-upped, and exposed.

I’ve heard of revenge fucks, but holy shit. This guy literally annihilates his former high school bully here. I don’t think any string of words could possibly do this man and his actions justice, but I’ll do my best to try.

Ariel, the mother of the high school bully, went head-over-heels for the former high school dweeb after a few dates and a few romantically intimate nights (they did sex). After no call back from Rob (the savage), Ariel decided to take manners into her own hands. She called Hot 96.9 (ironic the radio station has a 6 and a 9 in it…nice) and tried to locate her lover. It did not go as she planned.

Rob revealed to everyone listening that her dick of a son bullied him throughout high school and once he saw her on the internet, he planned to get revenge on him in the worst way imaginable: “I saw her online, I recognized her last name, turns out her son actually bullied the shit out of me and so I figured if I could fuck his mom I would rub it in his face” (Savage named Rob).

His excuse for doing this to the mom was the most non-chalant take I’ve ever heard from somebody who just embarrassed and humiliated an adult:  “Look, it is what it is”. He goes on to boast how awesome it is that he gets to tell this bully, Sam, that his own mom called a radio station because she needed some more action from him.  There is no coming back from this if you are Sam. The game is over.  No amount of tittie-twisters, locker shoves, wedgies, or nuggies could ever make up for this act. Even retaliation would just seem desperate.  This is the biggest “L” a person can take.

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He then says he took a shit ton of pictures, which is insanely fucked up if she didn’t know and the one part of this that I think this guy went too far with, but with the one-liner to close out this historic performance he says “You were making direct eye contact with it, don’t pretend you didn’t know what was happening”.  Today is definitely a bad day to be a guy named Sam.

Lesson Learned: When they say be kind to everyone, listen. You never know who is going to turn around in 10 years and go fuck your mom.

 

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