All posts by Bert

I'm thinning, not balding... I've got a lifetime of embarrassing moments just waiting to be shared RCNJ Baseball '19

Predicting the Next Overplayed “Sorority Girl” Song

Last summer, The Chainsmokers gave us ultra-hit “Closer”, which was a great song until it was the only song played everywhere.  Walking through the quad, what else do you hear but “HEY….I was doing just fine…” or going into a party and hearing twelve sorority girls drunkenly standing on tables screaming “SO BABY PULL ME CLOSER”.  It was everywhere and anywhere, like the black plague in the 1340s (too soon?).

Much like Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself” or “Sorry” in 2016, there are certain songs and certain artists that get belligerently overplayed every single year. It’s a tale as old as time, in my opinion dating back to the 1800s. I mean how many times have you heard Beethoven’s 5th symphony? I’m sure enough for your liking, right??? Sorry, that’s enough 19th century and beyond references for one article.

My point being that every year, for as long as I can remember, there is a song (AKA Song of the Summer) that is really good then gets pushed off a cliff by fans and radio stations playing it every second. So, I am going to predict the artist that will come out with the next big time (rush?) hit of the 2017-2018 school year.  But, first some honorable mentions and a dark horse: Continue reading Predicting the Next Overplayed “Sorority Girl” Song

BTBspiracies: Was Air Bud Too Good to Be True?

Over 20 years of greatness. Sport after sport, Air Bud, aka Buddy, DOMINATED middle and high school athletes, putting their college athletic dreams on hold as he made them look silly with every new movie, all while being the most lovable dog imaginable. He was truly a dog like no other…or was he?

Call me crazy, but this movie came out in 1997. You know what else was happening in the late 90s? You guessed it. The Steroid Era. Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, and the whole rest of the Juice Squad were sticking needles in every part of their body and hitting nukes (sorry) all over the baseball diamond. It was an iconic time in baseball.

Too good to be true? (also please watch this video, the fact that somebody actually took the time to make this is hilarious on its own)

Now I’m not accusing Buddy of juicing up, but I’m simply speculating at his consistent dominance over multiple sports at such a tainted time in sports.  Kind of hard to sustain organically, don’t you think? Let’s take a deeper look. Continue reading BTBspiracies: Was Air Bud Too Good to Be True?

Changing of the Guards: Yankees Bullpen

I, for one, have seen enough, and apparently so has this guy.

I know Stanzo talked about it in his summary earlier today, but I still think more needs to be said.

Chapman blew his 4th save of the season last night, throwing a 103 mph fastball to 20 year old Rafael Devers that he blasted over the left-center wall, tying the game at 2. This was not something that was entirely unexpected. When my friends and I saw Chapman warming up, we were like

Image result for here we go again meme

I have hated watching Aroldis Chapman all year. He walks half the batters he faces, usually has no control over his offspeed pitches, and his fastball hasn’t even been that much better than other pitchers. Last night though, I actually made a comment about his 2017 fastball being below his standards, only to be roasted by him touching 103 multiple times. So while he looked better than he has in the past, he still blew the game. In a game like that, in a series like that, it was unacceptable, and he deserved to walk off in the 10th to a wealth of boos.

Continue reading Changing of the Guards: Yankees Bullpen

Why Do GM’s Insist on Giving Slightly Above Average Players Groundbreaking Deals

Devonta Freeman is good.  Not great.  I wouldn’t put him in the top 5 running backs in the NFL, but I would say he’s close. Unfortunately for Freeman though, he’s about to be added to a bad list of people. Too many times players who are not the best get paid like it, and I’m here to speak up.

Image result for shut up and take my money meme
Every owner in sports

I’m not talking about long contracts where the player ripened out towards the end, or contracts where players just weren’t that good but it didn’t break the bank, or the player got suspended. I’m talking about contracts where the team foolishly signs players as if they are an elite talent, and there was never a possibility of that happening.

Freeman should not have been paid like he was the best back in football, simply because he is not. Le’Veon Bell, David Johnson, or Zeke should be paid as such.

Mike Conley should have never been paid like he was. At $34 million in 2020, he will compare with some of the league’s elite players in terms of salary, but certainly not in play. Continue reading Why Do GM’s Insist on Giving Slightly Above Average Players Groundbreaking Deals

Fantasy Football Draft Strategy #2: The Balancing Act

Another Sunday without football has come and gone, and our withdrawals can finally be tamed by the beginning of fantasy football season.  With the first preseason game under our belt, it’s time to really get serious about draft strategies.  So without further ado, the second draft strategy I will be presenting is The Balancing Act.

With this, the main focus is the get an elite player at each position.  You ensure production from all aspects of your lineup and you’ll never be a weak team (barring injury or a repeat Todd Gurley).  The problem with this approach is you’re likely to have a pretty top heavy team.  You’re #1/2 guys will be good, but since you want talent at each position, it’s possible you fall-off at multiple spots.  Relying on your sleeper intelligence and waiver wire know-how is key with this.

I, again, took the 6th overall pick as the worst. Here’s the team: Continue reading Fantasy Football Draft Strategy #2: The Balancing Act

This “12” Year Old Blasts 7,000 Foot Home Run; Little League Enters 1st Steroid Era

Have you ever seen Benchwarmers? When the 35 year old Dominican player hit bombs around the stadium, all while drinking tequila on the mound crying about his ex and carrying his country’s flag around first base. Well, if there was ever a real-life version of the infamous “I am 12” line, this is it.

Continue reading This “12” Year Old Blasts 7,000 Foot Home Run; Little League Enters 1st Steroid Era

How I Made the Cincinnati Reds World Series Champs After One Season

If you’ve never tried this before, I 12/10 recommend it.  All you need is about $350 dollars to purchase a PS4 and The Show.  Once that’s done, go to Season mode, choose a horrible, horrible team (ie: Cincinnati Reds) and quickly do everything you can to bring a title to their miserably failing city. To do this properly, you can’t put on force trades, and you can’t put on unlimited budget, that’s like juicing in the GM world.  It ruins the integrity and makes everything less fun (although baseball on steroids was un-fucking-real).

It basically comes down to making great trades, signing free agents, and flipping talent and prospects for WIN NOW-caliber players.

The Reds had a problem everywhere other than 1B (Joey Votto), 2B (Jose Peraza), CF (Billy Hamiltion), and C (Devin Mesoraco), so I had a lot of work to do:

TRADES (for 2017 season)

Acquired SP Sonny Gray for CP Raisel Igelias, SP Brandon Finnegan, and 2B Tony Renda

Acquired 3B Maikel Franco for CF Arismendy Alcantra, 3B Eugenio Suarez, and SP Homer Bailey

Acquired SP Seth Lugo for RF Patrick Kvelehan, SP Cody Reed, and RP Blake Wood

Acquired SP Jordan Zimmerman for SP Robert Stephenson and SS Zack Cozart

Acquired CF George Springer for CF Billy Hamilton and RP Drew Storen

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS (for 2017 season)

Signed RP Joe Blanton

Signed SS Alexei Ramirez

Signed C Blair Jimenez


After all that we finished 30 games under .500, but held much promise to our next season. We had a lot less holes to fill, and I planned on working on some free agent flipping to get some talent.

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS (for 2018 season)

Signed SP Jeremy Hellickson

Signed 3B Adrian Beltre

The free agent season didn’t work out as well as I wanted because no matter how much money I offered players, nobody wanted to play in Cincinnati. Alas, I plunged forward.

TRADES (for 2018 season)

Acquired SP Jose Quintana and SS Jody Getz for C Devin Mesoraco, SP Seth Lugo, and RP Michael Lorenzen

Acquired SS Jean Segura and CF Jarrody Dyson for 3B Adrian Beltre, SP Kirby St. John, and SP Joel Benjamin

The “Adrian Beltre Move” is essentially a glitch in the game because I paid him $12.8 mil to be a DH on a National League team, but when the trade deadline came, people were willing to give up an arm and a leg for the 38 year old batting .210. Whatever.

So here was my starting lineup going into the second half of the 2018 season:

  1. Jean Segura SS
  2. George Springer CF
  3. Joey Votto 1B
  4. Maikel Franco 3B
  5. Adam Duvall RF
  6. Jarrod Dyson LF
  7. Blair Jimenez C
  8. Jose Peraza 2B
  9. DH/SP

And here was my pitching staff

  1. Sonny Gray
  2. Jose Quintana
  3. Jordan Zimmerman
  4. Jeremy Hellickson
  5. Anthony DeSclafani


We won the NL Central by 3 games over the Cubs, and I beat the Astros in 7 games in a 6-1 victory to win the World Series, where Quintana threw 8 great innings and George Springer and Adam Duvall both homered.

In case you needed proof

I gave up pretty much my whole farm system and I had literally one good prospect left, but that’s the price of being a win-now team. My thanks go out to the Reds players who played well above expectation (Jeremy Hellickson went 18-2 with a 2.11 ERA and Blair Jimenez was Rookie of the Year in 2017, making it possible to trade Mesoraco for Quintana) and also Adrian Beltre. I have no idea why you are valued so incredibly high, but The Show seems to think you are worth the world, so I’ll take it. Congratulations to the fake Cincinnati Reds on the totally not real title, and congratulations to me for being such a great GM. Take notes.