Pretty self explanatory but getting a snow day when you were growing up was the absolute shit. Waking up dreading a long day of sitting in class only to be told by your parents that you can go back to sleep was a feeling like no other. If you were lucky enough, you would get the call the night before, and know that you could stay up late doing whatever with your friends without having to wake up early the next day. Unfortunately, Ramsey NEVER used to do that when I was younger (they did last night though, they’ve really gone soft.) Continue reading Was There Ever a Better Feeling than a Snow Day Growing Up?
Ladies and gentlemen, Pokemon is forever cool and don’t you ever second guess that. Anyone who says otherwise is probably a Team Rocket empathizer, wears socks to bed, or punts in Madden (4th & 34 is the perfect time for a HB Blast to the left with DeAngelo Williams).
Me and my roommate discussed this the other night, and quickly arrived at the conclusion that the main purpose of Thanksgiving break in college is to indeed…catch them all.
Whether it be the classics in Pokemon Blue, Red, or Yellow, played on a random Nintendo SP that you found in a drawer while tearing your house apart looking for free booze, or the newer versions in Pokemon Pearl/Diamond that you saw crawling through the attic to find your old DS.
I, personally, will be entering the world of Pokemon SoulSilver for the first time with the likes of Totodile by my side.
My point is, when you have the days off from work, school, sports, clubs, frats, sororities, and so on, what can you possibly do with your time? You can’t be with your friends every second of the day, your family can only be tolerated to a certain extent, and sports aren’t on at all times of the day. Therefore, your only option, assuming you did not bring your preferred game console home for the break, is to reach back into the depths of your childhood and start a new journey on your way to defeating the Elite Four.
Trust me, this is a major time killer. I never believe it when I look at the top of the screen and see the “23:42”, indicating I’ve actually used a full day playing Pokemon (Notice I did not say “wasted”). Time flies in this game, and when you’re trying to avoid responsibility and loved ones, this is the perfect way to do it!
Bottom line, whipping out the old Nintendo is not the worst thing you can do this break, it’s actually the best. Don’t be ashamed, own up to your nostalgia, and be the best Pokemon trainer you can be. A new adventure awaits.
Haven’t done one of these in awhile, or really blogged at all much recently. Shoutout to Rutgers midterms, you take years off of my life figuratively and literally. Regardless, I’m home chilling on break now and figured I’d blog about Thanksgiving. Since Mr. Walker and Googs have the football side of Turkey Day covered, I figured I’d break down the moves that you absolutely cannot make on Thanksgiving without me judging you. Here we go:
You Bring Up Politics at the Dinner Table
The only moment of the day everyone dreads is when politics inevitably gets brought up at the dinner table. You’re kinda just sitting there waiting for your super liberal Aunt to passive aggressively bring up something Trump tweeted and then your hardcore conservative Uncle chimes in and there’s no going back. No one wants it to happen but it always does. But if YOU are the one to bring up politics in any way, shape or form then you are a snake of Kevin Durant proportion. Just keep the topics simple. Football, how “crazy” the holiday season is, lying about your grades, telling your Grandma for the 1000th time you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend; you know, the usual. If you bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner, especially if you’re of college age/younger, I definitely don’t trust you.
Your Cranberry Sauce Doesn’t Look Like This
Let’s get one thing straight. When the Founding Fathers sent the Declaration of Independence, they intended cranberry sauce to look one way and one way only.
If your cranberry sauce doesn’t look like the one on the left, you might as well go to sleep and try Thanksgiving again next year. None of this boujee-ass bullshit on the right. My cranberry sauce will come straight out of a can and look just like that can when I eat it. If you don’t agree, I can’t trust you.
You Say You “Don’t Have Room For Dessert”
As if this was some sort of option? It’s an unspoken rule that whatever food if put in front of you on Thanksgiving, you eat. You crush as many appetizers as possible, at least one full plate of dinner, and then a healthy helping of dessert. You can’t just tap out after the turkey. No one said you could stop eating just because you’re “full” or “about to puke” or “not having fun anymore.” If you aren’t fighting off your severe stomach ache to pound some dessert, then you don’t deserve Thanksgiving. Go celebrate Groundhog Day or something you snowflake.
You Don’t Make a Leftover Sandwich at Night
This one kind of falls in the same category as the last one. Obviously you’re gonna eat way more than necessary on Thanksgiving. But if you don’t wake up from your food coma nap at like 10 and think to yourself “damn I kind of want more food,” I can’t relate to you. A little turkey sandwich with stuffing and cranberry sauce is just what the doctor ordered as you try to keep your eyes open for the late football game (can’t wait to watch the Giants lose it this year, #SuckForSaquon baby.)
You Go Black Friday Shopping On Thanksgiving
This one is honestly wild. First off, it’s so sad that stores make their employees come in on Thanksgiving for sales like this, that’s not fair. But if you’re willingly leaving Thanksgiving dinner to go shopping, I trust nothing about you. Have these people never heard of the Internet? You can get everything you’re about to shop for online and have it at your door in two days, well before Christmas. Why risk getting trampled by crowds or punched in the face by someone’s Grandma when you could enjoy Thanksgiving and just shop later on from the comfort of your own home? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does,” and if you Black Friday shop on Thanksgiving Day you are in fact stupid. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Thanks for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Unless you’re one of the people I mentioned in the blog, then you just need to figure it out.
Note: Granted this blog was started by three Yankee fans, but we need some more Yankee hate on this blog. Everyone knows you can’t have a great sports blog without hating on/making fun of teams like the Yankees, Cowboys (unfortunately), Patriots, Warriors, etc.
All Rise, and let me paint a hypothetical for you to start this out. Say you are a standard Yankees fan who lives in the tri-state area. If you are my age, you grew up watching the Red Sox send out David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Pedro Martinez, and other players who were on their championship teams in 2004 and/or 2007. Naturally, you hated these guys and those teams, for the most part simply because they were all Boston Red Sox and you hated that team. Flash forward to the last couple of seasons, the Red Sox have brought in young talent such as Mookie Betts, Jackie Bradley Jr., and Andrew Benintendi, just to name a few. All of these guys have been good guys on and off the field, and of course are loved by Red Sox fans. If you are a Yankee fan, you may not hate these guys as much as you hated the 2000s Red Sox (yet), but you naturally root against these guys and hate on them because as good as they may be, they play for the Boston Red Sox.
My point? As a Mets fan, don’t tell me I can’t root hard against Aaron Judge and the rest of the Baby Bombers just because they’re great players.
It’s blasphemy, flabbergasting, preposterous, and any other large word that implies crazy thinking or behavior. I mean, look, I wanna do well in school as much as the next guy…but at what cost? Missing Kyle Hendricks throw a 7 inning-gem against the favored Nats? Not being able to see your home-town Yankees win two in a row with their backs against the wall? Lacking the ability to soak in the happiness of the Red Sox being embarrassingly eliminated at home? Mr. Professor…that’s priceless.
And now, as the halfway point of the semester approaches and midterms need to be studied for, October baseball is heating up, and Jim Rome Is Burning.
I literally have a midterm assignment due tomorrow and a midterm exam on Friday, but I am planning my day around watching the Yankees in Game 5 tonight instead, not studying for the test and completing my work. How do these professors expect me to do both? I can multitask, but I’m no dual-threat student that can study efficiently AND give the proper attention to Game 5 it requires.
Look, I’m not saying colleges and universities need to schedule midterms and other homework around playoff baseball, but I kind of am. Us baseball fans wait through SIX months and 162 games of sometimes irrelevant baseball to get to this part of our lives. It’s important that we dedicate ourselves fully to it.
All I ask for is that during that month, I have no responsibility. No school, no work, no extra-curricular activities, nothing. I do not care about the affects technology has on Foreign Direct Investment in Europe, but I do care about the affects Stephen Strasburg’s changeup has on right-handed hitters.
So to all my professors, a little respect for my desires would be greatly appreciated. Take my final grade into account, and take your job into account. If I’m not going to try for a whole month out of the semester, it probably won’t reflect too positively on your class grade. Not a threat, just something to chew on next week when I’m taking a midterm entirely clueless because Game 3 of the ALDS was on. Go Yanks.
The infamous quote from Anchorman, “I’m going to take your mom [Dorothy Mantooth] out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again” has been executed, one-upped, and exposed.
I’ve heard of revenge fucks, but holy shit. This guy literally annihilates his former high school bully here. I don’t think any string of words could possibly do this man and his actions justice, but I’ll do my best to try.
Ariel, the mother of the high school bully, went head-over-heels for the former high school dweeb after a few dates and a few romantically intimate nights (they did sex). After no call back from Rob (the savage), Ariel decided to take manners into her own hands. She called Hot 96.9 (ironic the radio station has a 6 and a 9 in it…nice) and tried to locate her lover. It did not go as she planned.
Rob revealed to everyone listening that her dick of a son bullied him throughout high school and once he saw her on the internet, he planned to get revenge on him in the worst way imaginable: “I saw her online, I recognized her last name, turns out her son actually bullied the shit out of me and so I figured if I could fuck his mom I would rub it in his face” (Savage named Rob).
His excuse for doing this to the mom was the most non-chalant take I’ve ever heard from somebody who just embarrassed and humiliated an adult: “Look, it is what it is”. He goes on to boast how awesome it is that he gets to tell this bully, Sam, that his own mom called a radio station because she needed some more action from him. There is no coming back from this if you are Sam. The game is over. No amount of tittie-twisters, locker shoves, wedgies, or nuggies could ever make up for this act. Even retaliation would just seem desperate. This is the biggest “L” a person can take.
He then says he took a shit ton of pictures, which is insanely fucked up if she didn’t know and the one part of this that I think this guy went too far with, but with the one-liner to close out this historic performance he says “You were making direct eye contact with it, don’t pretend you didn’t know what was happening”. Today is definitely a bad day to be a guy named Sam.
Lesson Learned: When they say be kind to everyone, listen. You never know who is going to turn around in 10 years and go fuck your mom.
Last year, different kinds of phrases related to Trump’s campaign slogan floated around Ramapo College. Make the Village Great Again, Make Ramapo Great Again, and so on and so on. Yesterday, September 5th, was move-in day at The Po, and for essentially every student, that means being back with your friends and drinking all day and night. Unpack your stuff, go to Bottle King, and ruin your next day by drinking everything. There were questions about what might happen since it started pissing around 8/9 PM, but a little water was never going to stop (apparently???) New Jersey’s best academic public college.
After a tough past two years and Ramapo basically having like four to five fun campus-wide nights per year, last night was a breath of fresh air. Being allowed to just chill in the village, have some drinks, and not have to worry about Public Safety breaking the whole thing up for literally no reason is a good sign for the year to come.