Category Archives: Entertainment

The Most Miserable Person in the World

This year’s MLB All-Star Game was a rather ho-hum affair.  We are less than a week removed from the game, and most MLB fans could not today recite a single memorable occurrence from that game.  Meanwhile, the most newsworthy All-Star Game occurrence was the revelation that Milwaukee Brewers reliever Josh Hader had tweeted misogynistic and homophobic things while he was in high school.

First off, obviously it is extremely inappropriate for a person to make such tweets.  That said, who is the person who dug up these tweets on the day of the All-Star Game?  There are only two possibilities, one commendable and one deplorable:

Possibility #1) A vindictive ex-girlfriend or ex-friend was “getting back” at Hader.  I really hope this was the case.  Maybe there was a time where Hader cheated on a girl, and she decided to get her revenge when he was on the biggest stage of his life.  Maybe Hader “stole” a girl from a friend, and the friend similarly decided to get revenge during the All-Star Game.  Either way, if the aggrieved party was aware that a) these tweets existed and b) Hader has/had a promising baseball career, said party might want to wait until the perfect time to unveil those tweets to the world.  This way, the party could maximize the damage to Hader’s career.  The perfect time was, of course, during the All-Star Game.  Very few people outside Milwaukee knew much about Josh Hader before Tuesday.  However, to reveal that an All-Star had once made those inappropriate tweets would be a big story, even if the name “Josh Hader” was not exactly a household name.  Therefore, the All-Star Game was the perfect time to release the tweets and thus to give Hader the most notoriety.

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Photo via Sporting News

Possibility #2) One of the most miserable people in the world dug up this tweet from the past and released it on Tuesday for the sole purpose of making Hader miserable.  Again, the tweets are inexcusable, but, as a high-school teacher, I also know that high-schoolers say, do, and tweet dumb things from time to time.  The whole point of going to school is to learn – not only academically, but also socially – so that one can live a responsible adult life.  I have taught many students who matured greatly over their high-school careers, and the last thing I would want to see is to have their careers tarnished by stupid things the students tweeted while they were in high school.

At the same time, I am sure there are miserable people out there who pore over the social-media accounts of every person who suddenly gains even a modicum of fame.  This way, these scavengers can try to wreck the person’s fame, even if the person is a good person.  By all accounts, Josh Hader has been an upstanding adult who tweeted inappropriate things as a high-schooler.  Why try to wreck the guy now, unless you are a miserable, miserable person?

If “Possibility #2” is the correct answer, then the person who uncovered these tweets surely drives in the left lane of the highway at 50 miles per hour and uses a urinal next to the only other occupied urinal when there is a line of open urinals.  What a miserable, miserable person.

“Jersey Shore – Family Reunion” Was a Delight…Let’s Do It Again in 2023!

This week, MTV’s “Jersey Shore – Family Reunion” came to a close, and I am going to miss it.  The funny thing is that, when this season – essentially the seventh season of “Jersey Shore” (albeit with a 6-year gap between Seasons 6 and 7) – began, I did not think I would get into it.  By the time Season 6 had finished 6 years ago, I was fairly certain that the show had run its course.  Therefore, I figured that I would watch the first episode of “Family Vacation” for nostalgic purposes, and then I would stop.  This would not be the case.

Let us now flash back to the very beginning of the show, “Jersey Shore”.  Before its premiere in December of 2009, I had heard rumblings that this show was in the works, but I had not given it a moment of thought.  Then, a few episodes into Season 1, my then-girlfriend and her friend were watching these eight Italians (most of whom were not actually from New Jersey) on TV.  These alleged “New Jerseyans” were put in a house on the Seaside Heights boardwalk, and I did not know what to expect.  The first glimpse of the show that I saw was Vinny and Pauly D on a club floor, “fighting the beat”.

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I made fun of this line, but it did not keep me from watching.  I proceeded to watch the remainder of that episode and all other episodes that season.  I thought that Pauly D and Vinny were intentionally hilarious, while The Situation was unintentionally hilarious.  The Sammi/Ronnie drama was captivating, and Snooki was always good for laughs when she would drunkenly fall down.  These people were all twentysomethings, and I was 28 years old.  There had honestly never been a time when I truly enjoyed clubs; if you know me, you can imagine that clubs are not exactly my scene.  That said, it was fun to live vicariously through these guys and their tales of “grenades” (2010 was a big year for these; because, not only did “Jersey Shore” finish its first season, but Bruno Mars also released his great song, “Grenade”.) and “t-shirt time”.  Never being one to “pick girls up” at clubs, I was fascinated by this guido world.

As the show progressed through six seasons, two major things changed.  The first involves the guy who owned the t-shirt store, the place of employment for the “Jersey Shore” cast.  For any young readers, you might find it silly that these eight people who were cast on what Bill Simmons once called “Guido Real World” also had to work at a t-shirt store while on the show.  What you must understand though is that, yes, it was actually incredibly silly.  The cast members would show up drunk to work, and the store owner would seem mad at them.  Of course, his store was receiving free publicity, so he could not really be THAT mad.  However, as the show progressed, it seemed liked this guy stopped trying to act mad.  Instead, he would always have a “sh!t-eating grin” as he tried to reprimand the workers.  By Seasons 3, 5, and 6 (the remaining seasons that actually took place at the Jersey Shore), this gentleman knew that he was making a ridiculous amount of money off these talentless individuals.  How could he be mad at the eight people responsible for his presumable mansion, Ferrari, and yacht?

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Anyway, the second change that happened to the show was much more vital to the premise of the show.  The cast morphed from being nobodies in Season 1 to being megastars by Season 5.  In Season 1, the show achieved its premise of letting us watch these random people try to get strangers to “come back to the hot tub”.  These eight random people were no more recognizable to the other clubgoers than anyone else was.  However, by Season 5, nobody was allowed anywhere near the cast.  There were countless camera shots of the cast on the Seaside Heights boardwalk, as TV viewers could see spectators roped off far in the distance.  Nobody was allowed near these stars anymore.  This is why I started to lose interest in the show.  As with most reality shows, the show’s premise worked well when nobody knew the stars but fell apart once the stars had become too famous.

That is why the show’s 6-year hiatus did the viewers good.  We did not really need another season of trying to force the square peg of these massive celebrities into the round hole of having them try to hook up anonymously with strangers like in Season 1.  Therefore, with the 5-year gap, the cast was able to age 20 years (it seems).  Snooki and J-Woww had kids; Angelina and J-Woww had plastic surgery done on everything; Vinny stopped eating carbs; Ronnie has a kid on the way; and The Situation no longer drinks but might be heading to jail.  A lot of “life” happened for these people over the five years, and that made for a very entertaining season this go-round with “Family Vacation” (cast in a Miami house).

During this season, the cast admitted to having grown up.  The house members poked fun at each other on a regular basis, especially making fun of The Situation for his tax evasion.  Yes, these individuals went to clubs, but they were no longer trying to “pick up” people of the opposite sex.  Well, they were not supposed to do so, but Ronnie did bring some girls back to the hot tub even though he was in a relationship.  Tisk, tisk.  At the same time, Pauly D remained the best part of the show.  The guy is always happy; it is like he is perpetually covered in the “good slime” from Ghostbusters II.  He is even able to feign surprise when he is hired to DJ big-time gigs, even though he is probably the most famous DJ in the country.

Anyway, when the show reached its finale on Thursday night, JWoww led a discussion about how the cast should meet up again every few years.  I am sure that was a not-too-subtle way of hinting that MTV should do “Jersey Shore” reunions every five years or so.  If that is her plan, I am 100% on-board.  I would gladly watch one season of “Jersey Shore” every five years.  Let’s make it happen.  I expect the next reunion in 2023.

The Twitter Account All Baseball Fans Needs to Follow

If you’re a sane person and enjoy baseball, there’s an account Twitter that I consider the best one on social media. Behold…Pitching Ninja.

It’s the one account on Twitter, with the exception of maybe Bleacher Report and a few influencers, that I actually look forward to seeing content from. The founder, Rob Friedman, puts together incredible gifs (pronounce it however you may) of pitchers being absolutely filthy.

Example A:

Example B:

Example C:

From individual pitches to overlays to mentality on the mound and through training, Pitching Ninja gives you really unique insight on baseball’s greatest art that you typically don’t see on any other sports accounts. It really is mesmerizing stuff, and allows you to appreciate the wonders of baseball. Throughout the years, I’ve legitimately learned a lot just by watching these 6 second clips, and I highly recommend shooting it a follow if you love America’s past time.

Japanese Television is Always the Answer

Last night, I came across this gem:

That’s correct, loyal BTB readers. That’s possibly the greatest hitter of any generation (if you count the steroids) stepping up to the plate against a man jumping on a trampoline.

Note: I’m not sure what type of trampolines they have in Japan, but this guy has to be over 30 feet in the air. It’s like it’s an American trampoline on roids, which I guess would make it a fair match against Bonds #lmao

I also wonder how much they had to pay Barry Bonds to do this. If I remember correctly, he would not even be in video games. I had to play against some “Reggie Stocker” in MLB 2006 that somehow hit .345 with 54 home runs, until I finally figured out it was him.

My point being, Japanese television fucks.

If you don’t believe me, here’s more proof:

and fuck it, one more:

I don’t know what’s in the water over in Japan, but there is something electric about their energy. They are absolutely fearless. I think we can all learn something from them, and maybe it’s time to take a page out of their playbook instead of starting another season of American Idol that nobody will be watching.

Is Playing Pokemon Over Thanksgiving Break in College Weird?

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Ladies and gentlemen, Pokemon is forever cool and don’t you ever second guess that. Anyone who says otherwise is probably a Team Rocket empathizer, wears socks to bed, or punts in Madden (4th & 34 is the perfect time for a HB Blast to the left with DeAngelo Williams).

Me and my roommate discussed this the other night, and quickly arrived at the conclusion that the main purpose of Thanksgiving break in college is to indeed…catch them all.

Whether it be the classics in Pokemon Blue, Red, or Yellow, played on a random Nintendo SP that you found in a drawer while tearing your house apart looking for free booze, or the newer versions in Pokemon Pearl/Diamond that you saw crawling through the attic to find your old DS.

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I, personally, will be entering the world of Pokemon SoulSilver for the first time with the likes of Totodile by my side.

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My point is, when you have the days off from work, school, sports, clubs, frats, sororities, and so on, what can you possibly do with your time? You can’t be with your friends every second of the day, your family can only be tolerated to a certain extent, and sports aren’t on at all times of the day. Therefore, your only option, assuming you did not bring your preferred game console home for the break, is to reach back into the depths of your childhood and start a new journey on your way to defeating the Elite Four.

Trust me, this is a major time killer. I never believe it when I look at the top of the screen and see the “23:42”, indicating I’ve actually used a full day playing Pokemon (Notice I did not say “wasted”). Time flies in this game, and when you’re trying to avoid responsibility and loved ones, this is the perfect way to do it!

Bottom line, whipping out the old Nintendo is not the worst thing you can do this break, it’s actually the best. Don’t be ashamed, own up to your nostalgia, and be the best Pokemon trainer you can be. A new adventure awaits.

The 10 Funniest Athletes

Sports are really, really serious at time. And even recently, they have tried to become involved in the justices and protesting in the social world (which I actually don’t have a problem with, but that’s a story for another day). Fortunately, there are a few select athletes that among all the madness just give you a good laugh. Whether it be they’re actually good at being funny or they are just a little crazy, their humor is thoroughly enjoyed nonetheless. In no particular order, here are the funniest athletes around:

Peyton Manning

“Chicken parm you taste so good” will forever be ingrained into my mind. Peyton Manning is easily, in my opinion, the funniest athlete in the world, and his Saturday Night Live United Way P.S.A. is quite possibly the hardest I have ever laughed at one of their skits.

LeBron James

When LeBron hosted SNL a long time ago, a ton of the cast members explained how he seemed to have a natural ability to be funny, and had a great sense for timing and what not. In Trainwreck, he was hilarious, and a long time ago, before LeBron wanted to make a “difference in the world” he was producing funny commercials like it was his job. We want the Old LeBron back.

Shaquille O’Neal

“You know you don’t fit in that Buick” will forever be my favorite Celebrity Mean Tweets. Other than being made fun of, Shaq is a really funny guy himself, and nobody will ever know how he got so many q’s.

Brian Wilson

This guy was just fucking weird, but nobody cared. He coined the iconic “Got Heeeem”, and describes it as only he can above.

Chad Johnson

For starter’s, he changed his name to his number. Like in real life. You really didn’t care if he scored in terms of the game since the Bengals sucked eggs, but you wanted to make sure you were watching if he did because he had some of the best touchdown celebrations of all-time.

Marshawn Lynch

Let’s just talk about last week…

He has become an icon in sports media ever since his “I’m just here so I don’t get fined” debacle. He now has his own show called “No Script” where he literally just does what he wants for a little while…what could go wrong, right?

Blake Griffin

His comedic talents have been on display since his rookie year, and most predominantly in all of the commercials he does.

Dan Haren

I mostly based this on his Twitter, and he wasn’t noticeably funny until after his career. But, he seems like a nice guy, fun sense of humor. Put him on the list.

Joel Embiid

The best is yet to come with this guy, but he has definitely delivered a promising start to his comedic career.  Not only does he go directly at opposing players…

But is funny when he makes mistakes unlike Super Bitch Kevin Durant

Mike Tyson

Idk, is this irony, or personification? I don’t know, but it’s some type of figurative language, and Tyson abused it. His rant essentially makes zero sense, but it’s hilarious to listen to:

 

Think of any athletes you say are funnier? Comment below and throw in some videos to prove it.

McGon’s Picks: NFL Week 7

Weeks like Week 6 make me wonder why I even waste my time writing these blogs every week…

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… because after last week, it’s clear that you don’t know what’s coming on any given Sunday this season.

With the amount of upsets that took place last week, I’m grateful that I was busy and I didn’t place action on any of these games. Underdogs went 9-5… STRAIGHT UP. That’s right, 9 underdogs not only covered their spreads, but won the game as well. 7 of these 9 underdogs were also road teams. Also, of the 5 favorites to win, only 3 of them covered. That means favorites were 5-9 straight up, and an abysmal 3-11 against the spread.

As you can imagine… I did not do too hot. But then again, did anyone? Everywhere I looked after the game, expert’s predictions were wrong. I went 5-9, both straight up and against the spread. In all 14 games, I was either right about the spread and cover, or wrong about both, no 1-1. I’ve decided I will now look back on my picks from the week before and make comments on where I went wrong, or simply, why the NFL was unpredictable last week. Here’s a look back at the picks I made (winning team in red, spread winner in red):

Eagles at Panthers (-3.5) 

  • Eagles 28, Panthers 23- Maybe the Eagles are the team I thought the Panthers would be this year? Not writing off the Panthers because of a close loss to a good team. But the Eagles could be for real this year, and I don’t like the look of that. The Cowboys will still see them twice late in the year (I’ll be in Dallas Nov. 19), so it should be an exciting division race if the Cowboys can edge out wins in these high scoring games.

Dolphins at Falcons (-11.5)

  • Dolphins 20, Falcons 17- Don’t even get me started, because this one makes no sense. The Falcons have won a couple of games this year that they could have easily lost, but by no means is it panic time in Atlanta. As for the Dolphins, they came in as arguably one of the worst 2-2 teams of all time. They only scored 6 against the Jets, got shutout by the Saints, yes the Saints, defense, and hardly edged out wins against Young Hoe Koo and Matt Cassel. The Falcons also were up 17-0, so I think there is only one explanation here: the 2017 NFL season (or as PFT said, the Dolphins paid tribute to Chris Foerster by having a nose for the goal line).

Packers (-3) at Vikings

  • Vikings 23, Packers 10 Two words. Aaron. Rodgers. I feel bad for those who bet Packers, but then again, not really because if they picked them the week before as well, then they ruined my Sunday. The Packers are in for a long and frustrating 2017 season.

Lions (+5) at Saints

  • Saints 52, Lions 38- Was this the trap I said it could be? I’ll say no, I don’t want to make excuses. This game was an absolute shootout, and the Lions D did their best impression of the Saints D to let New Orleans cover easily.

Patriots at Jets (+9.5)

49ers (+10) at Redskins

Bears at Ravens (-6.5)

  • Bears 27, Ravens 24 F/OT- The Ravens are clearly not reliable this year, especially since they got off to a 2-0 start. The Bears have looked awful on the road this year, but finally edged one out thanks to Jordan Howard.

Browns at Texans (-9.5)

Buccaneers (-2.5) at Cardinals

  • Cardinals 38, Buccaneers 33- Okay, maybe AP is here to come to the rescue. While their once stellar defense looked horrible in the 4th quarter, the Cardinals offense finally looked like what I thought they could be capable of coming into the year. One game is not enough to say what AP is going to bring, but the Cardinals are only a game out of first, and if they can keep this up, they are a real threat in the NFC West.

Rams (+2.5) at Jaguars

Steelers at Chiefs (-4.5)

  • Steelers 19, Chiefs 13- Once again, talk about a tail of two weeks. The Steelers go from getting crushed at home by the Jaguars to beating the NFL’s last unbeaten team on the road. This Chiefs have been the best team in the AFC this year, but the Steelers proved that come late in the season, they will still be a tough out.

Chargers at Raiders

  • Chargers 17, Raiders 16-This game had not had a spread yet, so I took the Raiders as if they were even (changes to that coming, keep reading). Despite Derek Carr playing, it’s clear he is not 100 percent healthy yet. There’s a clear difference in a Raiders team with a healthy Carr vs. one without him. The Chargers continue to look like last years Chargers, losing heart breakers and getting gritty wins on the road.

Giants at Broncos (-11.5)

  • Giants 23, Broncos 10-You thought the Falcons loss made no sense? Well, this was 10x worse. The Giants came in 0-5, with minimal offensive damage (especially in the run game) done this year. They then lose their top three receivers. Now they are playing in one of the toughest road venues against a defense that held last year’s rushing leader Ezekiel Elliott to 8 yards. Everything pointed towards a Broncos win, even if it was low scoring. And quite frankly, I don’t think there is any explanation.

Colts at Titans

Enough for last weeks losses, time for an unpredictable Week 7.

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Note: While there are no games like this in Week 7, for games whose spreads have not been released yet, I will no longer be making this picks in this blog, and instead will closer to gametime and mention whether I won or lost the following week. Don’t worry, I ain’t a liar. 

Buccaneers at Bills (-1)

  • It will be interesting to see if the Bills, a historically disappointing team, look as strong as they did before their bye week came up. The Bucs have looked awful on the road this year (besides last week’s 4th  quarter), and Jameis may not be 100 percent, so I think the Bills come out looking like they did before their bye week and beat the Bucs at home.

Panthers (-3) at Bears

  • While the Panthers have had their ups and downs en route to their 4-2 record, they are 3-0 away from Carolina. At the same time, the Bears have been a very competitive team at home this year. I think this spread is perfect, and if I had to predict score, I would say Panthers by 3 as well. But I gotta choose one, so I’ll take the Panthers to cover in their close victory.

Titans at Browns (+6)

  • Even though it only lasted a game and a half, there was such a sense of relief when Tony Romo returned in 2015 and took over for Matt Cassel. Therefore, I know how Titans fans are feeling right now. The Titans look back on track and I think they will win, but the Browns need a home win, and a non-dominant AFC team is the perfect one to come in and let the Browns cover, but still beat Cleveland in the end.

Saints (+4) at Packers

  • They may not be this bad, but a good equivalent of what this Packers team could look is what the Raiders have looked like without Derek Carr. The Saints offense has exploded over their last three games, so I expect them to go in and cover against a banged up Packers team.

Jaguars (-3.5) at Colts

  • The odd week Jags are back! The even week Jaguars played like we all knew they would, but they are back for Week 7 to show us what they are capable of. The Jaguars D and Leonard Fournette will take over again, and the Jags will win and cover in Indy.

Cardinals at Rams (-3.5) (London)

  • The game is a hard one to pick, because as great as the Cardinals looked last week, we all know trends like these mean nothing this season. That being said, I think Peterson and the Cardinals come back down to Earth, and the Rams offensive explodes on the Cardinals defense to get the win and cover in London.

Jets at Dolphins (-3)

  • The Jets have shown over the past four weeks that they are better than bad. That being said, a few losses in a row could send them on a trend that most projected them to be on this year. I think the Dolphins build off of their impressive win in Atlanta, and they win a close, low scoring game in Miami, but enough to cover.

Ravens at Vikings (-5.5)

  • What a mess the Ravens have been since starting the season 2-0. The Vikings have also been playing some pretty good football lately, even with Case Keenum at QB. With the Vikings playing at home in a battle of the Purple People Eaters, I think both of these trends continue, and the Vikings easily win at home. (Note: Watch the video. Easily one of the greatest games I have ever watched.)

Cowboys at 49ers (+6)

  • You have to feel for these Niners. Coming into the year projected to be one of the worst teams in the league, the standings reflect that. But they have now lost their last five by 3, 2, 3, 3, and 2, respectively. Combine that with their historic rivalry against the Cowboys, and the close game they played last year, I like them to cover. However, I definitely think the Cowboys will win. The Boys never looked back last year after going down 14-0 in Week 4 in SF, so I’m hoping for the same this season.

“How bout the kid, Dak Prescott?”

Bengals (+5.5) at Steelers

  • Another loss like one to the Jaguars against the Chiefs could have really put a damper on the Steelers season. Their defense is clearly improved this season. I like them to win, but the Bengals played three straight great games before their bye week, so I think they will cover in this division rivalry game.

Broncos at Chargers (-1)

  • With the way the NFL season has gone, I’m gonna consider the Broncos game last week a fluke. That being said, these Chargers look so much like last year’s Chargers, a team who started 0-4 and then hit their peak in the middle of the season. The Chargers have won two in a row on the road, so I think they come back home and win over a Broncos team that struggles on the road.

Seahawks (-4.5) at Giants

  • Don’t let the Giants fool you after last weeks performance. They are still missing so many weapons that gave them chances to win in a few of their games. The Seahawks are coming off their bye, looking to turn their season around to be the more dominant team they are capable of. The Seahawks have had great success at MetLife, including winning Super Bowl XLVIII, and I think they will win and cover on the road.

Falcons (+3) at Patriots

  • Coming into the season, I had the Falcons winning this game, as they had something to prove after dominating the NFL’s best team for 3 quarters in last years Super Bowl. While the Falcons have lost two in a row, the Patriots are very close to being 0-3 at home this season. I think this trend continues, and the Falcons gets revenge in Foxborough.

Redskins (+5) at Eagles

  • The Redskins have had an impressive start to the season, with their only bad performance coming in Week 1 at home to the Eagles. Expect a Redskins team much more ready to play Philly this time. That being said, the Eagles looked great last week, and got an extra few days of rest. The Redskins will keep this one close and cover, but the Eagles will pull it out on Monday night.

That’s all for Week 7, come back for Week 8 when every game went as predicted, of course. Will the Falcons get their revenge?